We hate to accuse Nintendo of selling snake oil round these parts, but we’ve just learned that the ‘Fit’ part of Wii Fit is all a big fat lie. With emphasis on the word ‘fat’.
During an aggrandising promotional interview with Nintendo president Satoru Iwata, mop-topped banjo-strummer Shigeru Miyamoto broke the news like the morbidly obese break deckchairs: “I forgot to mention something earlier: I don’t think Wii Fit’s purpose is to make you fit; what it’s actually aiming to do is make you aware of your body.”
You “forgot to mention”, did you? Thanks for letting us know. This is verily the most mildly disappointing news since the time we learned that crab sticks don’t actually contain any crab.
Of course, we knew for sure the game (or lifestyle product, if you will) wasn’t going to make us slim and buff. Nevertheless, its very name may mislead those hoping for a cheap fix, before realising that wobbling about on a plastic board is about as useless doing press-ups face-first into a plate of chocolate eclairs (probably).
If you thought Wii Fit’s balance board was a one-trick pony, destined to lie snug under the bed beside the Super Scope and Slide Controller, then cast your eyes EA-wards for rumours of its use in the sequel to last year’s Boogie, their Wii rhythm action game that we’ve all nearly forgotten about by now.
Slightly spurious games gossip-monger, Surfer Girl has psst-ed another secret development into the ears of every gamer in the land. Our take? It could work. Wii Fit’s already shown us its dance moves with some sedately paced step exercises in time to music, so taking it to the next level, Wiimote in hand, Boogie at least has a base to build on. Although, we’d take a good old-fashioned dance mat any day of the week.
Speaking of which, Dance Dance Revolution’s Hottest Party, the first of Konami’s dance forays into Wii territory hasn’t been setting the world on fire overseas and probably won’t when it comes over here. Hopefully Boogie number two can improve on that and its own disappointing execution to deliver some mainstream thrills, all the while nagging at us to shift the weight onto our left foot until we chuck in the cupboard beside our Wii Zapper.
Source: C&VG
We like this hack, which basically involves hooking up a dance mat to a Game Boy Advance. If the video is to be believed, you can play a nice relaxing game of Pac-Man just be stamping your feet in the appropriate direction. Crazy stuff, but oddly compelling. Could it point the way towards Balance Board/Nintendo DS interoperability in the future?
It’s official: Japanese people would rather shave a few extra pounds of blubber off their waists than watch an over-enthusiastic plumber ‘woo-hoo!’ over a goomba. Yes, while Super Mario Galaxy managed to sell 251 000 copies in its first week, Famitsu report that Wii Fit sold 254 000 in two days.
As far as we can surmise, Japan isn’t suffering from a malaise. All that raw fish and fermented beans they eat (stereotype alert!) must do them the world of good. No, we rather figure it’s minimalist design, clean lines, and the aesthetic appeal of the Balance Board give it all the lifestyle appeal it could ever need. Nintendo will be pushing this as the must-have accessory, guilting people into believing their life won’t be complete without one. Indeed, I for one will be getting one when it comes out over here and I haven’t exercised in ages. There’s just something desirable about it, don’t you think?
P.S. Sorry for the lack of posts. The blogsite went a bit mad and locked me out of our site because it thought I was involved in illegal or malicious activity against it. Wasn’t me, guv. One anti-spyware check later, and we’re back in business.
The design of the Wii’s control system has made it an ideal tool for exercise. We saw that proof in the physical exertion required for Wii Sports, and in Nintendo’s progress towards the Balance Board-equipped Wii Fit. Both excellent ways to stay healthy. Just one problem:
THEY DON’T MAKE US LOOK STUPID ENOUGH.
Yep, that’s WiiWii’s standard requirement. If it doesn’t look ridiculous, we’re putting it back on the shelf. Thank goodness for Australia’s Queensland University of Technology then, who’ve cobbled together a Wii-based exercise program that couldn’t look more ridiculous if it tried. Strap one Wiimote on your helmet, the other to your leg, get on the hooked-up exercise bike and pedal away. The game retrieves data from your movements and translates it on screen. Have a look at that grinning fool above. Doesn’t he look stupid? Yes, he does.
It’s been designed to combat the boredom that comes to us all at the gym. If it picks up they threaten to let us view the screen through video googles. Look, we know we said we like stupid peripherals, but that’s too much for us. We’re off for a box of doughnuts and a quick go on our Virtual Boy.
Nintendo’s Japanese marketing team is very clever indeed. In terms of ability to educate the public about new technology, I’d put them right up alongside the strategists behind Apple’s TV campaigns. The latest example of this handy knack for effective Nintendo TV ads began airing on Japanese telly yesterday, and you can see the spot right here.
The commercial is all about building anticipation for a subsequent round of Wii Fit ads, which will begin showing later this month, in advance of Wii Fit’s December 1st release in Japan. But it’s what the ad doesn’t say that makes it a winning campaign. All we see is one “Balance Wii Board”, as Japanese grammar would have it, one pair of “lady legs”, and a TV. Which is enough to make Japanese viewers ask, “What’s that all about, then? Something to do with that Wii I bought? I’ll have to investigate…” (Or, in the case of my better half, a simple “What’s that?!”)
The monologue voiced in this ad is simple to the extreme, and the information cleverly omitted is the information everyone will be listening out for when the next wave of “adverts for that Wii board thingy” are broadcast. The narrator just says this:
“This is a board. You put this board in front of your TV and stand on it. Balance Wii Board.”
Here’s some interesting news: sixty-seven percent of Wii owners aren’t playing with their Wii right now, according to a report published by Japanese Famitsu publisher, Enterbrain. We don’t blame them.
Far from defending Nintendo to the hilt, we perfectly understand why that would be so. For starters, summer’s been a pretty awful time for Wii games. Poorly implemented PS2 and PSP ports, and a long gap between big-name Nintendo releases hasn’t helped matters. While the DS seems to get something that plays to its strengths nearly every month, its bigger brother has yet to prove itself. Wii Sports is a brilliant proof of concept game that shows just what the Wii is made for, but nobody has been able to immeasurably improve on the game with a follow-up that would appeal to the mass market.
More details on the Wii Fit package from Nintendo’s press conference this week: the Wii Balance Board has a weight limit of 136kg, which roughly translates into 21 stone. That should account for a broad spectrum of the population, but if you’re morbidly obese or own a pet elephant this is not the fitness solution for you.
We’re wondering if the Balance Board will receive any - ahem - enhancements for when it’s exported to different markets. Certain nations - *cough* America *cough* - have a much higher ratio of lardasses than other countries. Without reinforced boards there’ll be hundreds of little fat kids who risk disappointment when they break it on the first attempt.
For those people without excess loads to carry, they’ll be interested to learn that the Wii Fit bundle comprises of 40 training exercises. With so much to choose from, there’s less chance you’ll get bored and stash the Balance Board under the stairs along with all the other fitness implements you’ve bought and never used. At least, that’s what Nintendo are hoping.
This is nothing more than a rumour folks, one based on third-hand information about a conversation that somebody had in a bar. But we’re throwing caution to the winds and reporting it anyway: Nintendo are said to be developing a sequel to 1080° Snowboarding, this one specially calibrated for use with the Wii Balance Board.
As bullsh*t rumours go, it’s a plausible course of action. For starters, 1080° Snowboarding was a flagship title back in the glory days of the N64, earning itself a positive reception amongst fans and critics alike. For another thing, it’s a perfect match for the Wii Balance Board, and it certainly makes the product more appealing than doing some lame-ass Yoga in my living room.
The only other extreme sports franchise that could possibly be more appealing is a Tony Hawks skateboard game. But that’s not going to happen without Activision’s say so, and they’re probably waiting to see what kind of reception Wii Fit will get. But considering the spectacular streak that Nintendo have been having lately, we’d recommend that Activision get off their asses and start working on that game, like, immediately.
, Opinion: Nintendo Wii is not a cure for obesity
This is nothing more than a rumour folks, one based on third-hand information about a conversation that somebody had in a bar. But we’re throwing caution to the winds and reporting it anyway: Nintendo are said to be developing a sequel to 1080° Snowboarding, this one specially calibrated for use with the Wii Balance Board.
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