Some believe that the real media editors aren’t people like Boris Johnson and Ian Hislop, but us. We pay for what tickles our fancy, and so we determine the content of every newspaper, magazine, and television programme. The press is just a giant cohort of lackeys scrambling to gratify us lest we take our business elsewhere. It’s a theory.

So what are we to make of this? Talent agency Star Now has advertised for people to submit, for ‘hundreds of pounds,’ stories about how playing videogames turned them bad and ruined their lives.

Assuming that Star Now is responding to an explicit call for such content from newspaper editors, this is a remarkably circular proposition. Desperately trying to peddle a story without a single piece of anecdotal evidence to put meat on the bone, the media, or some unctuous part of it, is actually asking the public to both supply and consume its own meat, just so a few bigots can choke with rage on it.

The saddest part is, the only people honestly eligible for the hundreds of pounds on offer are violent lunatics with a retarded sense of personal responsibility. ‘Did computer games make you turn to a life of crime?’ Honestly.

Next Generation

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It pays to be wary over the next couple of days. Remember, we’re in prime April Fool’s season and it doesn’t take much encouragement for a gaming blog or website to print a full-on mug-baiting story in the hope of slapping you in the face with a virtual custard pie.

But forget about that. Nintendo have announced that their next Wii game is a Kid Icarus FPS!

Er, sorry. That’s not what we wanted to say. Our story today concerns rumours originating from Nintendo Only, a Dutch website, who appear to be reliably informed that three new DS colour schemes will be winging their way to Europe come May. Those colours in full: red (sizzle!), ice blue (cool!), and green (um, we’ll take it if the others are out of stock). Ice blue is our colour of choice, of course. Easier to hide fingerprints, you see.

As ever, no official confirmation from Nintendo, but it’s been a little while since they’ve done something major to the DS so we might expect something or other to push sales in the summer months.

I’d be interested to see, actually: these are meant for people who don’t have one yet, but what kind of DS gamer changes their handheld purely based on the colour? Or even buys two? It seems a needless extravagance and yet I’m tempted myself just to satisfy my own aesthetic sensibilities. Let us know if you would too.

Source: DS Fanboy

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Bought Pro Evolution Soccer 2008 on Wii this weekend, did you? Well, you’ve made a very tidy purchasing decision there, my friend. But chances are, particularly if you’re more used to traditional methods of controlling a football sim, you’ll be struggling to beat your initial opponents on the default difficulty. Or perhaps you’re a newcomer to videogame footy and those cheeky scamps Michael Owen and Ian Wright made it look much easier on the adverts than it actually is? Either way, you’re in the right place. Settle down with a cuppa, and click on the jump to get some expert tips with our five key things to remember. Once you’re done, you’ll be pinging the ball about with gay abandon and carving defences to pieces better than Messi with a machete. Read the rest of this entry »

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My head hurts. And not just because…actually, I’ll stop going on about the flu thing now. But someone with perhaps just a little too much time on their hands has released a series of interesting stats about Wii’s sales in Japan so far, and how they compare to several other consoles, from this generation and earlier.

Fanboys, these are your Cliffs Notes - learn them and memorise them. I’ll be testing you next week. If you’re keen to find out more, then hit the jump for a brief overview and a link to one of the most terrifying spreadsheets I’ve ever seen.

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It’s a day early for April Fool’s gags, but I’d still advise everyone to take this with a fairly huge pinch of salt.

A copied release data sheet from a French gaming retailer has Rockstar’s latest opus making its handheld debut on DS in June. With absolutely no mention of the game before this - and indeed no signs of Rockstar having been working on a portable version - it seems like a simple mistake on the part of whoever’s providing our Gallic chums with their info.

But! It’s not entirely impossible. Rockstar is known for its secrecy, and once or twice before has surprised us with news of a forthcoming title with a sooner-than-expected release date. And the GBA played host to a couple of top-down GTA titles, so you never know.

Don’t get your hopes up, is all I’m saying. Then, in the unlikely event it does happen, it’ll be an even better surprise.

Source: GoNintendo

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We’ve already blogged about the Commodore 64’s arrival on Virtual Console today, a day that any true Brit should be celebrating with joy (unless you’re a Speccy die-hard, in which case, hard luck, chum). Suffice to say, Uridium is a must-buy, if a little expensive, and International Karate doesn’t have the trouser-dropping infamy of IK+ and so must be looked at warily. Still, a good way to start. I’m holding out for Head Over Heels, personally.

What hasn’t caused quite as much excitement in the VC world is Cruis’n USA, an N64 Outrun clone, presumably mis-spelt deliberately to ensure this isn’t a game about Al Pacino trawling the streets of America picking up gay men. I recall this game looking quite the looker back in the day, no doubt due to its sunshine graphics and wind through the air atmosphere. A bit like,er, Outrun really. Sadly it turned out to be a little bit terrible, with little in the way of depth or excitement making this a pretty poor choice to add to your collection. A sequel made it on to the Wii last year and it’s apparently even worse. The fact that we didn’t even know there was a sequel in the first place speaks volumes.

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Publishers have been strangely reluctant to reveal their WiiWare, er, wares - so it’s nice to see Hudson Soft - creator of one of the best titles on the service so far in Star Soldier R - provide info about its range of software due for release over the next few months. Particularly given that two or three of the titles are looking very good indeed.

Hit the jump for shots and release dates for the likes of Bomberman Wii and - yes! - a sequel to fantastic Turbografx pinball title Alien Crush.

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It’s been relatively dark times for the DS of late in its country of origin, the handheld struggling for a week or three in the face of the PSP, which seems to be going great guns in the East for some reason (Monster Hunter). Anyway, no doubt partially thanks to this week’s release of Pokemon Batonnage, the DS has ascended to the top of the console tree once more, shifting three thousand more units than the Wii, and six thousand more than its handheld rival.

Elsewhere, the PS3 continues to struggle, with a quite frankly pathetic 12,874 consoles sold - the Wii’s now outselling it by a ratio of 5 to 1. With the likes of Mario Kart Wii on the way, it looks like the home console war is all over bar the shouting. Nintendomination indeed. Hit the jump for the rundown of this week’s figures…

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I should have seen this coming. In the wake of yesterday’s publication of Tanya Byron’s government report into videogames, the knee-jerk-tastic Daily Mail has decided to get an ‘expert’ in to critique some of the more violent titles out there. The expert? Why, none other than recently-lardy ex-morning TV presenter Anne Diamond, of course.

Predictably, she’s not a fan. But it’s not just the evil 360 and PS3 with their youth-corrupting Mature titles that get the brunt of Diamond’s criticism. Two Wii games are featured - Resident Evil 4: Wii Edition and Scarface: The World Is Yours. You can read the fantastic Resi 4 review above (cheers for the pic, Daily Mail), but Scarface also gets a tongue-lashing - “it’s disturbing that so many teenagers presumably have access to this mindless garbage over and over again.” Ouch!

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Nintendo’s latest addition to the European Virtual Console (and nowhere else - ha!) is a surprise revival of the Commodore 64, represented here by two well-known titles from yesteryear - System 3’s hugely influential International Karate, and Graftgold’s space shooter Uridium. Both are available for 500 points, which, despite being the joint-cheapest amount alongside all the NES titles, still seems a little bit expensive for two games which are over twenty years old. What next? The Atari 2600 making a comeback?

Still, it seems churlish to complain - it’s not as if Nintendo is forcing us to pay for these gaming antiques, and it’s nice to have the option. And both these are a valuable history lesson for any true videogame connoisseur.

What’s arguably more exciting is that this could yet pave the way for the VC to host Amiga titles. If that happens, then the console war’s immediately over - Nintendo has won. Cannon Fodder, Alien Breed and SWOS on your Wii? The mind boggles.

Make it so, Nintendo, and I’ll love you forever.

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